Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter – those were the sounds my heart made when it swelled at the sight of you….at the age of 15.
The above statement is just a generalization of course. *shifty eyes*
At my current age, 23, the pitter patter seems to be taking a permanent residence in the back burner. What did it for me nearly 10 years ago doesn’t do it for me today.
Why is that good looks doesn’t make me loopy? Why doesn’t a dinner make me want to relay all the details to my girlfriends? & why no longer does a kiss make my knees weak?
I find that when I was younger, I was fearless. Fearless as I dived head first in the waters of love. When my heart was broken, the mend time was short and another “crush” (yes I used the word crush!) would be around the corner. Nowadays those are few and far between.
It seems as though young love rides on chemistry and our hearts have no reins. Yet as we enter our adulthood, the directions to each others hearts gets murky with the obstacles in the way. Our careers, education and families are now more relevant than ever and “standards” gets replaced with chemistry.
Is this man responsible? Does he have long-term career goals? Does he want children? Is he financially stable? Will my family take a liking to him? Questions I’ve never considered before but now I find myself asking.
I miss the days where it was just “him” and just me but now reality is startlingly real and there’s more to a relationship than chemistry.
Thinking back to the first “crushes” of my past and how many hours I’ve spent daydreaming of them is nostalgic.
I’ve been waiting for you to grow up into the man I know you can be but…whenever we spend time together, it just isnt the same.
I’ll always have those summer nights…
But I am no longer that girl and he’s no longer that boy anymore.